With the start of a new school year, here's a bit of tongue-in-cheek advice for new- -and even current--students on how not to succeed, from Bonnie Titley, director of academic advising at Colorado State U. (National On-Campus Report, August 12, 1994)
1. Sit in the back of the classroom. This will immediately indicate a lack of interest in the class and a generally negative attitude toward school .
2. Don't read your assignments before going to class. This way, you'll be nicely unprepared to answer questions, and you'll have no idea what the professor is lecturing about.
3. If you must take notes, let the reading and studying of them pile up until the night before an exam. No sense making more of what the professor says than you have to. Also, be sure to use lots of abbreviations that you'll forget later.
4. Forget to buy your textbooks and ignore suggestions by the professor to do outside reading.
5. Ignore exam results. Throw them away. If you study them, you might do better next time.
6. Either don't go to class at all or go very little. This way, you won't be bothered with knowing anything about stuff that might be on exams. And remember: going to class late is not at all graceful or stylish. It's best not to go at all.
7. After cutting a class, be sure to ask the instructor, "Did I miss anything?"
8. Start term papers late. In fact, just throw them together. This will guarantee a junior-high level mess, especially if you wait until the night before the paper is due. Also, be sure to hand papers in with coffee rings and jelly stains all over the title page.
9. Schedule your classes so that they're all in the morning or all in the afternoon. This gives you large blocks of time to goof off, thus eliminating any possibility of making good use of your time .
10. Never visit with any of your professors during the term. You can thus avoid getting any valuable information that might help you.